Aria, SNM, and Tarangams
Since last August, when I decisively left corporate life behind and dove headfirst into academia, I have read thousands of pages and written thousands of words, thought and rethought ideas, and learned so many new things. It's time to start talking about it on here, again. But first, I want to take a moment to reflect and share some gratitude.
This past weekend was both the 10th Annual Sangeetha Natya Mahotsavam organized by ICAPS Richmond at the Richmond Sai Temple, as well as the first Sanskrit Annual International Conference organized by Aria University, held in Milpitas, California. Earlier this spring, I submitted a paper based on ideas that have been percolating in my head since I first watched the tarangam Neela Megha Saseera as a kid, growing and shaping as I have grown in my own dance journey, as well as learned more about the language, music, and texts that have scaffolded Kuchipudi dance.
It was a bittersweet decision to miss one milestone event to participate in another, but these two events happening simultaneous on two coasts mark my own growth as a dancer, dance educator, and academic. When ICAPS started, I never introduced myself as a dancer. I had deeply etched into my brain from a very young age: "Amma is the dancer. I just dabble but I'm not made for it." She's a creative. I handle the logistics. She's a powerful performer. I am best behind the scenes. These were the messages I would tell myself.
But, using the ICAPS platform, I performed a solo as a returning student. I participated in the SNM and Navaratri festivals. I also organized events, interviewed dancers, singers, and musicians, and in the dark hours of the night, I would wonder how life could have looked if I had believed in the art in my own home and in my own heart.
When I joined the Kuchipudi MA program at Aria University in 2018, I was eager to drink in all the information and was absolutely at awe with the depth of knowledge. I allowed myself to be called a student of dance. That seemed accurate. I love to learn. I love to write and process. It was during that time that I started this website. The Sangeetha Natya Mahotsavam had been running for three years and I deeply admired the featured performers who would grace the Sai temple stage each year for the festival. I would continue to be critical and dissatisfied of my own performances.
I straddled full-time work, dance classes, school, and family up until I finished my program at Aria University. Then, faced with COVID and many other challenges, I decided that delulu was the solulu and threw myself into starting a podcast and saying yes to any virtual performance opportunity, trading sleep and sanity for escape from things outside of my control.
While I had been planning on playing second fiddle at Sri Sai Dance Academy for many more years, circumstances forced my hand. I flitted from crisis to crisis while trying not to drop any of the existing dance school commitments. I had incredible experiences, presenting Deepa Sashindran m'am's Nandanar Charitam in 2024, as well as presenting Amma's choreographies in Kuchipudi village, Hyderabad, and Bengaluru alongside our students. In the first half of last year, we presented Nandanar Charitam at both the 2025 Cleveland Thyagaraja Festival and at the 2025 Sangeetha Natya Mahotsavam.
These were powerful experiences. I was also feeling utterly shellshocked and overwhelmed. It was time to make a choice: work, dance, family. Something had to give. I left my job, re-entered a college campus and began systematically studying Sanskrit.
Which brings us to this past weekend.
Armed with notes from stacks and stacks of books about Rasa, Alankara, Aucitya, and other aesthetic concepts, a beautiful two-volume translation of Narayana Theertha's magnum opus (that I will loathe to return), my first year Sanskrit textbook, and a life-time of conversations about tarangams in general, and "Neela Megha Sarira" in particular, I stood in front my dance department professors, as well as stalwarts from the Telugu, Sanskrit, and Music, and many other fields.
The next morning, I watched the livestream with bated breath was fifteen of my students presented five pieces at the Sangeetha Natya Mahotsavam. It went beautifully. I felt so overwhelmed and so grateful.
I am so grateful to have had that moment, and I am also so grateful to the passionate, incredible team we've built at ICAPS Richmond and at Sri Sai Dance Academy, so that things can get done, and get done well even if I'm not there every single step of the way.
I am learning to trust my judgment and the judgment of those who have made up my village. I am learning to make sure the critical voice and the anxious voice in my head do not drown out my confidence, creativity, and passion for what I do. And, most importantly, I am learning to pause and take it all in before asking, "What's next?"
I am planning to share my writings again, this week on. Mainly three buckets - (1) things that made me smile, like today's piece, (2) reflections on the theory and practice of dance, and (3) analysis of some of the things I'm reading (a bit like I was doing during my previous MA program). I hope you'll join me for the ride.