Seven Years Later… Thoughts on Guru Pournami
I first shared this website on Guru Pournami in 2018. I had posted a couple of posts on here prior to that day, but I did not publicize them. I wanted to start on a good day with a message honoring those who’d revealed my path to me. That day, I wrote, “We, as the student, must also be willing to look into the light.”
I could not have imagined the journey I’d have been on - with the blessings of my Gurus - in the years since beginning to look into the light, and I just want to take a pause, and look back before continuing forward.
Dance has always been a part of my life, but until my late 20s, I spent so much time (if I were to use Glennon Doyle’s words) dismembering myself into palatable bits that were appropriate for my different spheres of life, and then wondering why I felt too broken to feel safe and whole in any sphere. This was true in school, at home, in public, surrounded by people, and when alone, in India, in Singapore, in these United States, truly everywhere. I figured that was just the experience of being a foreigner in a foreign land, the perpetual immigrant trying to fit into boxes.
These last seven years, I’ve been on a journey of remembering (again, to quote Glenn Doyle) and in many ways, regenerating and recovering who I am wholly. I wear my bottu wherever I go, and I wear the clothes that please me. I try to take up space unapologetically, as well as make space for others to authentically be themselves. I speak up. I speak out. I do. I dance. I dream.
This pournami, I’m on the threshold between the life I’ve built and the life I seek, the moment when I have to dismantle the scaffolding that has allowed me to build my world so that I’m able to fully embody what I’ve been architecting.
It is all truly because of the blessings of my foremost Guru, Amma. mātṛ devo bhava
I’ll have more to share in a few weeks, but for now, I hope this full moon is a moment to pause, breathe, and reflect for you as well.
Love & Light 💙🌕
Photo by Hari Venkatesan | Lasting Impressions