Dispelling Darkness

If I look at the clock, it’s the next day, but in my mind, it’s still Guru Pournami. I’ve had a thought since this morning, and I’m only now able to write it down: It is knowledge that dispels darkness (“gu”, being darkness and “ru” meaning to remove), so the sharing of knowledge is a flame being passed from object to object.

This has been a very emotionally wrought, miserable, taxing set of weeks for me. I don’t recognize my face in the mirror, with wrinkles creasing my forehead and my cheeks looking sallow. Quite a few of my (soon to be former) colleagues have heard me fret over my shedding hair. I’ve ridden a bittersweet roller coaster of emotions for literally every aspect of my life, be it work, family life, or dance, with the highest of highs and lowest of lows being within hours - or even minutes - of each other.

Yet through it all (both in these last few weeks and over the course of my lifetime), I’ve had my pillars to lean on, my guides, mentors, teachers - all the embodiment of Guru. Be it in education, in dance, in music, in my career - so many lights, so much knowledge, and I am so grateful.

But it’s not just been them. It’s also been the people I’m learning not to emulate. When my son wanted to play with his stars projector in the day time, he’d close all bedroom doors so that our long corridor could create a dark haven for his stars and galaxies to be visible. Maybe the difficult interactions that have brought me so much frustration lately are like those closed doors that allowed for the light to be seen. Another embodiment of Guru.

There are also the distant lights that bring brightness to millions. I think of how much the works by Brené Brown, James Clear, and Adam Grant have influenced me over the past two years, but especially helped me navigate the last few weeks. I think of how much comfort I draw from Valerie Kaur’s night watch speech on New Years Eve, 2016, and so many more such examples.

Last week and this week, we are publishing the interview with Sai Venkata Gangadhar on Off The Beat Dance Podcast. Gangadhar spoke so openly about the trajectory change in his life because of his dance guru, Sandhya Raju, and it’s such a poignant interview. But having just relistened to the second half of the interview, which will be out in the world in four hours as of when I type this, I keep thinking, maybe these podcast episodes, his story and others’ stories, our own voices, could be tiny lights that pierce darkness for others trying to find their own way.

Not because any one of us is necessarily a great guru, but because the knowledge within each one of us has the power to dispel darkness, and we must be willing to share the flame with others.

Because that flame right there is the embodiment of Guru.