In the flush of love's light

Maya Angelou writes,

“In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.”

What a beautiful way to capture both how selfish and how selfless the choice to build a life with someone can be.

Today, it’ll be ten years since Bertel and I married. I’m struggling to put into words all the ways both of us have grown (and yet, stayed the same). I don’t think I could have fathomed what it means to build a life together, the decisions big and small, the steadiness and the vulnerability, the doors we open and those we choose to walk past.

There’s a large chunk of marriage that just isn’t very rose-tinted. Logistics and budgets, taxes and insurance, chores, grocery shopping, taking out the trash. But there’s a certain grace that can run through the mundane and unremarkable swaths of life that transform it into something extraordinary.

This grace manifests in the language that forms from familiarity, mutual respect, and aligned visions, the rhythm of the passing days, shared cups of tea, a timely hug. It becomes a shelter when we need comfort, and a formidable force that helps us stay united as we weather the storms of life.

But that grace cannot be assumed - it comes from a daily choice to wake up and work together - as we’ve done for the past 3,653 days. Here’s to continuing to do so for many, many, many more.

About the cover picture - there’s a game that is played in Telugu weddings, where the bride and groom fish around for a ring, whoever wins is believed to have the “upper hand” in the marriage. There’s something about what was captured in this particular moment where it feels like it’s not about winning over each other - it’s about beating the game. And, I love that. Photo credits - Stephen Salpukas who is, I’m convinced, a wizard.